Enlightened Sexism

It seems to me that the blogosphere and news sites are lit up lately with discussions on the concept of “feminism”- What does it mean? Have we achieved equality of the sexes? As my dear readers know, this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart and I’d like to honor this last day of Women’s history month by sharing an articles and interesting thoughts on the topic.

I found this very interesting Newsweek article titled “Are We There Yet”. This spring is the 40 year anniversary of when 46 women filed a discrimination case against Newsweek at the beginning of the modern women’s movement. This article is an examination of where women are today in terms of gender equality. Forgive me for quoting liberally- it is a long article and I know not everyone will read the whole thing, but I still think some of the ideas are especially thought-provoking:

“Forty years after NEWSWEEK's women rose up, there's no denying our cohort of
young women is unlike even the half-generation before us. We are post–Title IX
women, taught that the fight for equality was history; that we could do, or be,
anything. The three of us were valedictorians and state-champion athletes; we
got scholarships and were the first to raise our hands in class. As young
professionals, we cheered the third female Supreme Court justice and, nearly,
the first female president. We've watched as women became the majority of
American workers, prompting a Maria Shriver–backed survey on gender, released late last year, to proclaim that "the battle of the sexes is over.

“The problem is, for women like us, the victory dance feels premature. Youthful impatience? Maybe. But consider this: U.S. Department of Education data show that a year out of school, despite having earned higher college GPAs in every subject, young women will take home, on average across all professions, just 80 percent of what their male colleagues do. Even at the top end, female M.B.A.s make $4,600 less
per year in their first job out of business school, according to a new Catalyst study. Motherhood has long been the explanation for the persistent pay gap, yet a decade out of college, full-time working women who haven't had children still make 77 cents on the male dollar. As women increasingly become the breadwinners in this recession, bringing home 23 percent less bacon hurts families more deeply than ever before.”

What I found most interesting about this article is that it articulates what I’ve been struggling to put into words for the last 10 years about modern sexism. There is a new term I like to describe it- “enlightened sexism”. It refers to the fact that because of the legal and professional advances women have made over the last 40 (or, you could argue, 90) years, that we’re “there” and that any discrimination that exists must not be tied to gender but to something else.

"Douglas describes those mixed messages as "enlightened sexism": the idea that because of all the gains women have made, biases that once would have been deemed sexist now get brushed off. Young women, consequently, are left in a bind: they worry they'll never be taken as seriously as the guys, yet when they're given the opportunity to run the show, they balk. A recent Girl Scouts study revealed that young women avoid leadership roles for fear they'll be labeled "bossy"; another survey found they are four times less likely than men to negotiate a first salary. As it turns out, that's for good reason: a Harvard study found that women who demand higher starting salaries are perceived as "less nice," and thus less likely to be hired.

"This generation has had it ingrained in them that they must thrive within a 'yes, but' framework: Yes, be a go-getter, but don't come on too strong. Yes, accomplish, but don't brag about it," says Rachel Simmons, author of The Curse of the Good Girl. "The result is that young women hold themselves back, saying, 'I shouldn't say this, ask for this, do this—it will make me unlikable, a bitch, or an outcast.'

Somewhere along the road to equality, young women like us lost their voices. So
when we marched into the workforce and the fog of subtle gender discrimination,
it was baffling and alien. Without a movement behind us, we had neither the
language to describe it nor the confidence to call it what it was. "It's so much
easier when you're the generation that gets to fight against [specific] laws
than it is to deal with these more complicated issues," says Gail Collins, the
New York Times columnist. In a highly sexualized, post-PC world, navigating
gender roles at work is more confusing than ever.”

I think that label of “bossy” or “bitch” is the crux of the new, more subtle sexism of today that women are faced with. I find it in my own work experience. I’m in a position where I lead and own projects that require the work of many who definitely don’t report to me (and who are a large majority male). At various times I’ve gotten resistance to that leadership role and as I’ve talked to other women in my role, that experience isn’t uncommon. IMO- I think many men- even enlightened ones- see a woman telling them what to do and hear their nagging Mom or nagging Wife, but they are more readily OK with male leadership. I think because it is relatively new, we as a collective people don’t really know how to deal with any female in a leadership position- men and women included.

BTW- Don’t get me wrong at all- I don’t work with a bunch of sexist pigs :) but, to the contrary, I work with fantastic, respectful men. However, there have been times with certain people and projects that I have had to work noticeably harder to be taken seriously and overcome that natural resistance. According to my peers that I’ve talked to, our teams are a dream compared to what they could be and who they have dealt with elsewhere they’ve worked.

I think that in spite of reports to the contrary, sexism is no more “gone” than racism is. It is true that women have come a long way and legislation and improved awareness in our education system and parenting has helped a ton. However, I think just like racism, it persists in insidious ways that cannot be legislated away. It will require a shift in our collective thinking to completely eradicate it.